The habit of speaking ill of others and gossiping do you speak ill of others to others speak ill of you well this is a very common problem in today's people's
lives
We’re now going to use our conscious reflection to be assessing whether this habit is an intelligent one
what do we gain from it and what its consequences are especially what can we do about it.have you noticed how happy people just avoid talking badly about others it seems that it's simply something that
they don't feel like they have to do basically.
We all know how damaging it is to be spending a lot of time to be speaking ill of others it is considered
to be a bad practice isn't it but many people continue to do it you don't grow you don't learn you don't gain anything from it just puts us at stress and sadness but sits at risk because when found out that we're gossiping about other people the consequences are
disastrous many people believe they will never get caught gossiping about others but practice shares that sooner or later that gossiper will be discovered and of course, the confrontation is never pleasant so why do we do that why do people speak ill of others.
Well there are people there is communication and within the possibilities of communication there is
both the desire to speak well and sometimes to speak badly and to speak badly about other people in some cases can be considered gossiping and the
internet now improv is the power of gossip with fake profiles fake news it's so easy to hide behind the screen and create these messages intentionally
designed to create damage why does it happen.
There are six main reasons number one is to feel part of a group people gossip to feel like they belong sorcerer,
Europe use speaking badly of others as a way to undermine established alliances when two people
speak ill a third they find this kind of a weird alliance to gossip is to try to be on the inside to be protected against the tax of opponents because gossip is is this weapon both to attack but it also can be used to be protected we identify a common enemy with speak ill of a third party we create this identity
the enemy unites us and never chooses to feel superior people who don't feel good about themselves can feel temporarily better.
when they judge others negatively and one motivation in speaking badly of others is for these participants in the conversation to feel better about themselves feel better about their own insecurities we project our insecurities onto others with point out vices or problems of other people who are not part of our conversation and usually identify this flaws and failures in other people in order to disguise to divert the focus from our own faults number three because of envy and we can be described as a sort of jealousy for the success of other people.
overwhelmed by the sadness Eva's people are led you have attitudes toward offering to eliminate this bad feeling by gossipy. and one way to do there is is to speak ill of the person who they are in is off in an attempt to diminish their qualities they are saying bad stuff about them that is people gossip to harm those whose popularity talents and lifestyle they envy now before you get out of boredom or as a cry for attention when people fail to generate an interesting conversation an interesting discussion based on knowledge-based on ideas taking news gossip as a way to spark the interest of other people a person comes to the center of attention temporarily when they have something to gossip about you can see that for example in social networks as a way of getting attention people just go and arrive talking bad stuff about other people.
Somebody gossiping saying bad stuff about celebrities is a very easy way to get attention and number five for prejudice or intolerance to what is different because gossip rests on prejudice it establishes an acceptable behavioral model and then attacks a different behavior in order to avoid feeling guilty people adapt this saying of a well you see I am NOT prejudiced and atoms are always after
that phrase comes this classic but it is actually a way for them to start saying bad stuff.
Number six is for lack of awareness and reflection see I'm not necessarily saying that all people who gossip about our militias they're evil no a lot of time we end up falling into the trap of speaking badly about people without even noticing however gossiping unthinkingly can be quite dangerous when we have a low level of consciousness we don't reflect on our own words we don't question the truth of the facts
we just repeat things and unfortunately, this lack of clarity can even bring consequences that are devastating and irreparable to that wh are gossiping about we need to be very careful about this because when we speak ill of others we reveal much more about ourselves than about the people who are the targets of our gossip the the major negative effects of gossip in your life number one other people will speak ill of you one of the worst effects of gossip is that comes back to bite you because people around you may feel it is for you to deserve a little taste of your own medicine if you're gossiping about people all the time people may feel and it's kind of okay to also gossip about your life people who generally you share gossips with treating others the way you want to be treated.
Number two gossip isolates you, people. won't trust
they will be hurt by your actions they want few comfortable sharing details of their lives with you of course people will continue talking to you are you
still have some friends.
if you are known as the person who's always gossiping people will just avoid having a real connection with you your friends will be talking to you know basic stuff but they will hesitate before saying anything serious especially if they know it's something that you're probably going to be gossiping about later coworkers and family members can also stop telling you things because they are afraid.
you will be spreading around the information and number three gossip is not always true by gossiping about something we are just spreading rumors and we also may be participating in the perpetuation of these lies to learn to avoid gossip.
Six principles as the habit of speaking badly of others harm our lives our relationships and also harms the life of others we all need to learn how to improve our communication and avoid this habit so
here are six principles to help you avoid gossiping number one learn the difference between useful communication and gossip there are times in your life when it's generally useful to have information about the personal history of somebody for example
if you're thinking about starting a business with this particular person or hiring them if you are about to make a decision it might be useful to have a little bit of background knowledge but if there is no purpose behind the conversation and somebody starts to share intimate details or somebody else's life.
If you're in no position should do something about it well it's probably not a useful conversation number to stop before you start if the conversation starts to turn into gossip you can stop.
you can resume your level of awareness you don't need to be accusing another person of gossiping because then the other person may become a little bit defensive or even aggressive you can just use a phrase such as see I'd rather not have this type of conversation ho about we talk about la la la and then you can change the focus by shifting to some other meaningful conversation instead of going to that
bath number three look for humility and avoid pride because gossip makes us feel better about ourselves when we are relieved to remember the fact that other people also have problems so we're going to stop comparing ourselves to other people it can be humble remember that nobody's better than anybody don't let your ego in your pride feed the need to be comparing yourself with other people
and putting other people down before keeping your speech positive use positive words as much as possible especially when you're talking about other people because see when you're only seeing good
things it rarely leads to gossip it's quite a good conversation to have this positive speech will also encourage the people around you to do the same.
Number five seeks to improve the things that you can
control don't waste your time talking badly about others there is nothing that can be done about it
dedicate your time your faults and your words to what you can control which is your own life if you focus on being the best possible version of yourself work on your insecurities without comparing yourself to other people without wasting time on comments and observations about the characteristics and the behaviors of others and number six avoid toxic relationships avoid people who are constantly speaking ill of others surround yourself with happy optimistic people who see the positive side of life
not with people who bring everyone now even themselves now a person who speaks ill of others it's probably the person will speak ill of you to other people in this kind of relationship you want to have maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship you have now increase our awareness and reflect on the quality of your communication think about how you
would feel.
if you heard somebody saying negative things hateful words about you speaking badly about other people translate since you focus on negativity
and live life through a pessimistic and critical perspective your most precious and limited resource
it's time don't waste it getting involved with drama and arguments take time to take care of your integrity and good reputation by not participating in
the habit of speaking badly of others avoid creating labels and caricatures that encourage you to speak ill of others remember that we all have complex
stories.
There are always two sides to a story at least and clarifying these negative thoughts appearing in your mind towards somebody remember you need also
to focus on the positive side if someone encourages you to talk about negative things and gossip about somebody trying to think of something good that you say about the other person even if you don't
find anything good to say you always have the option to remain silent than speaking ill of others,
if you are a victim of situations where others are speaking ill of you you have to know how to confront the situation and establish healthy limits you don't have to be nervous and angry lose your temper no you can just go and communicate with assertiveness you can learn how to do this in our how to say no communication.
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